Question: Kaitlin: I always think about every bad memory I’ve had and I hate remembering them how do I get myself to stop focusing on bad memories!?
Answer: Forget all the bullshit jargon out there, its all trauma. You have to a) admit you have trauma (its STRONG to admit that), and b) work through that trauma. Say somebody did something to you recently that reminded you of something painfully similar that happened in your childhood, the trauma you would be dealing with at that moment is what has just happened and what happened in the past. With the weight of all the other unresolved trauma, you ca be miserable. This has been festering in your consciousness for years, it has settled in your mind and none of the memories want to budge, so you have to gradually slide them out. You do that by realizing it’s not a sprint, you can deal with all of it on a snails pace, the bad memories are too powerful to push out, every time you try to do that it just hurts you more in the long run, the bad trauma memories are too powerful for you to conquer like a bar room brawler who doesn’t think, you have to be the army general of your mind, you have to strategise, come up with tactics. The key to strategising, is to take your time, strategies take time, they have to come together. As you grow comfortable with taking your time (the golden rule is “it takes as long as it is going to take”), you will see new opportunities that were not there before, you will realise things are not as hard as you think they are right now. It won’t be total ascendency, you will have days again when you fall, but you will remember how far you got and likewise how you got there. It’s all going to take time, if you have one thing that happened 15 years ago that keeps creeping up again and again, its because its in there and it doesnt want to go out. You have to slip, NOT PUSH, it out, and you can only do that slowly. You control your brain, you are the general, but you can’t deal with all the memories of the horrible things/people you have experiences/met all at once, you have to think like a general, you have to cover all the bases and most importantly, you have all the time in the world. There is no rush, no matter what the go go go society tells you, you really have all the time in the world, so you can go as fast or slow as you want. But the brain needs to breathe, it responds better to gentle thinking, so go slow for at least a while 🙂