Question:  Just me:  I don’t have much friends or get along well with others if i come across someone insensitive or says something to try toughen me up like “It’s good to know mean people so you won’t be shocked you’ll be stone skin”. I just feel like no one understands me. The only one guy who i am close to even is harsh to me sometimes and thinks i need a wake up call and stop being so overly sensitive. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to just feel the way i do…and why does it feel like i am the only on who feels this way in the world? 

I’ve had girls who say “well at least it’s not this or that, it’s not even that bad, i think you’re overreacting” cos they actually speak their mind and i somehow irritate them and it makes me talk to them less.

I don’t know what to do or why… i feel like I’m growing more and more alone. (im 20)

Answer:  Life is hard. Life is also short. But “life is short” is a romantic notion, in fact its very, very long. Which means you have all the time in the world to find out who you are in the world.

Sensitivity by the way, is a remarkable trait. The people who shout their mouths off and speak their mind (who don’t THINK before they speak) all have VERY HIGH opinions of themselves. But they don’t really. Sensitive individuals are more perceptive, have deeper feelings, are respectful of other people’s boundaries. When everyone else is shouting their mouth off and very proud of who they are sensitive people observe the world around them and are usually right, because people like you me and all the other people who have been “ashamed” to be sensitive have a more intricate understanding of the world, and eventually, ourselves. 

People who shout their mouth’s off and speak their mind by the way, it’s all a show. They make damning verdicts from the hip about people or things that are totally ignorant, they have no idea who you really are but feel they are entitled to make an assessment? You are shy because you are respecful, you are sensitive because you are sensitive to other people, and it’s only a “negative” because other people can’t do what you can do. They are insecure, and are covering up their insecurities by showing how fantastic they really are.

The goal is to have the sensitivity bullied out of you so you become just like everyone else. That’s why they’re insecure, they are so insecure that you are being yourself that they think it means there is something wrong with them, and they make up labels as negatives so you either lose your rag and stop being sensitive or make you feel bad about yourself. 

The worlds a minefield, but sensitive people aren’t the problem, sensitive people are sensitive because they are sensitive about the whole environment around them, not just themselves. Loud and obnoxious people either aren’t really being themselves or they are really that dim. We are all born sensitive, it’s just the world that bullies sensitivity out of people 😉

And by the way, standing firm is where the real strength lies. Not changing who you are, its hard, but thats what makes you strong