Hi people,

I don’t know if anyone reads this, let alone many, but I will keep advertising however I can.  I write an answer to a question on a site some time ago to a question, and I was commended by some other person for my insight and he commented on the site as well, all of what I am saying is true, but when I was finding out this stuff, it wasn’t just uncovering a lot of truths, I did it by being positive.  So this site is meant to be totally positive, but I have been a bit bogged down in working out a lot of things that I have totally forgotten the approach of how I got here, it was all positive reinforcement, and it is what helped me find out the negatives.  I never would have found all of the negatives here if it wasn’t through positivity, and it just so happens that all the negatives I go on about are holding the real positives hostage.

So, let’s talk about positive and negative energy.  Yes, it’s real.  It is so so real, but you can’t see it.  That is why it seems like such a bunch of hullabaloo, because in this world of “fact” it is merely down to spiritual awareness/speculation.  Well it certainly does exist.  In every single one of you.  I go on about so much of this stuff because your positive energy is being buried under a bunch of negative energy.  You definitely have some, but the problem is not you, the negative energy has clawed itself on to you.  So many people thrive on it, but the people who get depressed badly, have more negative energy than they can handle.  Truthfully, we shouldn’t be able to handle any negative energy, but some of the most scrupulous people in the world have pointed the way and said “look at how things are done” and backed up their ability to be assholes as “proof” that it is the only way.  So the people who deal with negative energy the absolute best way, let it consume them, get on the easiest in “the real world”.  To let the negative energy consume you, that is exactly what it has to do.  A lack of conscience sets you straight.  If you have any morsel of a conscience, you’re in trouble, because a conscience is a positive human attribute.  It is that thing that makes you think.  Beyond yourself.  The fact is, there are some really really big time sociopaths in the world, whose attributes point the way to quick cash, quick success, quick “love”, everything.  This makes a lot of people jealous.  Big time.  From a very early age alot of people realize that they can be absolute dickheads for their whole lives and this is the thing that will bring success, which is a thing that made me doubt my manhood for a long time, the fact that I couldn’t “be an asshole to succeed” was a bad attribute of mine, and I certainly knew it, because everyone let me know it.  Every day.  So I was obsessed for quite a while with being an asshole, it was the root of all my problems.  That I wasn’t an arrogant asshole.  And the fact that I knew so many people were arrogant assholes and they “weren’t” drove me around the twist, and the fact that I couldn’t let go of these things I saw, and I couldn’t play my “role” as I was supposed to play it, really made me have a lot of dark days.  I knew I wasn’t wrong about things, but I was totally wrong.  Being depressed was my fault, and the fact that nobody also knew was my fault too.  And me knowing who the people responsible for my depression as well, where a sign I was “crazy”, and I had better start to cop on to myself.  So I was a child.  And every conviction I held, I thought was me being in absolute denial about everything, I truly hated myself for not getting to grips with reality, and the more I was pissed and in absolute conviction of how things were not my own fault, the more chaos there was in my life.  Everybody was copped on but me, and I was an idiot for being me.  And blaming others, was my biggest sin.

I was very wrong.  The amount of things I have had to do to just be positive.  Until i started looking through the bull and started fighting for things I saw that I was told “you don’t see anything”, I was lost.  It is very hard to be positive until you indicate where the negative is coming from.  You can do both at one time of course, as I did, but the negative overpowers the positive and you end up believing you are just looking for solutions that don’t exist.  I implore every one of you to read up about positive and negative energy.  It does exist, it on;t “doesn’t” exist because negative energy causes people to say it doesn’t exist.  Until you give in to bullying, by becoming “one of them”, you will always be bullied.  And it will always be because of something “wrong with you”.  I tell you, the people who aren’t bullies, are the only sane people on this planet.  And it can be proven.  But not to bullies, bullies don’t lose.  Their entire life is competition, and everyone stays down because “life is short” implies that you are falling behind, and YOU are suffering from defects as a human being to be behind.  It is displayed as a romantic notion, but that display merely disguises it from the sinister meaning of it all, to make humans think that they have to get “this”, “that”, and “everything” in order to be happy.  Humans will be in the cycle of abuse forever, this is why bullies get away with it, and nothing ever gets done, because it’s “all in your head”, unless the bullying is so obvious and lethal that it can’t be hidden.  If someone bullies someone to near death, they will have lots of people who join in, stand alongside them, ignore it going on, and take friends from the victim to take sides with the abuser ‘like that’ (clicks fingers).  If someone commits suicide, THEN that bully will be marked out, all the others involved, will be “disgusted”, “outraged”, etc. etc.  It is all an act.  The bully will then have the entire burden for bullying, but everyone involved, who did nothing, who thought “this is just a normal part of life”, THEY are bullies too.  And every single one of them is in grave denial about it.  Human beings live in denial, the gift that you victms get is that you get to see what human beings are really like, but the gift get manipulated by the bullies of the world, who say “you are just imagining things/paranoid” and say that there is no bullying going on, that you should “grow up”, “be more of an asshole/get tough”.  Every solution that you SHOULD DO is to see you become a bully.  You should stand up for yourselves, but it isn’t that easy when you have a thing known as a conscience.  Or when you have very real human fears.  WHICH IS OKAY.  YOU’RE HUMAN.  But bullying is covered up, it happens from teachers, bosses, schoolgoers, colleagues, even family, and “none of it” is bullying, it’s just life, and IT’S YOU who isn’t “coping” with life.  You aren’t “coping” with life because you are talking to a bunch of delusional idiots who can not see the logic in if they abuse you in any way that it is THEY who are bullies, and should deal with the repercussions of being bullies.  INSTEAD, they say IT IS YOU who should be dealing with all of the consequences.  So, you can not even deal with being victims properly IF AT ALL because you are dealing with all the repercussions that you BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF.  You are dealing with the whole damn lot.  You are dealing with all of the guilt, the trauma, and you being a victim is something that is bad for you to admit you are.  YOU.  ARE.  A.  VICTIM.  You were MADE a victim.  YOU DID NOT CHOOSE TO BE A VICTIM.  If you think there is a part of you that did??? NOPE.  You have just been used to thinking that there is a part of you that might be.  Because you have been “told” that you “brought it on yourself”.  Over fucking anything, even being shorter than “you should be”.  Look at the insanity in that?  You are “short”, therefore you “brought it on”.  How did you IN ANY WAY say “look at me, come get me?”  You absolutely did not.  IN ANY WAY.  Abusers SEE THINGS THE WAY THEY WANT TO SEE IT.  And so many of them, they are your “friends”.  Friends LISTEN.  They do not bully and then blame the victim.  The victim has to deal with every bit of guilt the abuser should be dealing with before they can even give themselves time to accept themselves as a victim.  It’s totally insane.  Our gift for being victims of various amounts is that we get to see people, and the world, for what it really is, but we are told “NOPE.  YOU DON’T SEE ANYTHING.  YOU MUST BE CRAZY”.  We all see, every one of us, but our vision gets clouded by the psychological abuse done to us, that continues as long as we follow the rules of people who live their lives as “a game”.  Life is not a game, just for the children, who all think they become adults.

We live on planet Earth.  And there are very few humans.  The real humans, they are the ones who hurt the most.  And they are told by the non-humans that they aren’t human.  You are told that you aren’t victims.  Just like you are made to feel like you aren’t humans.  You are TOLD that the stuff you experienced did not happen as bad as you think it did.  YES IT DID.  EVEN WORSE THAN YOU THINK.  You are TOLD that you should “just get over it”.  Translation – Forget about the bullying you received, and become one of us.  Because that’s what bullies want.  They just want to grow old together.  Pathetic, isn’t it?

Listen, i love you all, I don’t want to “play a game”.  This isn’t a game, and the only reason this has seemed in any way a big deal to me and if this has helped you guys is because I AM BEING A HUMAN.  I don’t play games.  So, I’m obviously just bitter because “I don’t have game, YO!”.  Every single thing that can be said to keep you down, has been said, and many other complete fantasies to keep you down will be used against you again.  They are fantasies because of this step by step logic that their whole “rationale” revolves around —

FANTASY:  The abuser abuses the victim.  The victim is blamed for the abuse.  The abuser thinks they are the victim.  Abuser rises triumphantly through “the abuse”.  the victim “won’t get over it” and is “being a baby”.  Victim deals with all of the repercussions for “what they did” to deserve the abuse.

REALITY:  Abuser abuses victim.  Abuser should apologize to victim.  Abuser should deal with the repercussions for what they have done, NOT NOT NOT the victim.  Victim should go on with their life away from the abuse.

Two logics.  One makes sense.  One is TOTALLY BIASED.  And all the problems in the world, they run on biased abuse like this.  This is why there are a world of problems in your life, because biased logic rules the world.  And that is where you can find out how positive and lucky you are to be you, because your logic although CURRENTLY BIASED IN FAVOUR OF ALL THE ABUSERS, IS BIASED.  It is fighting with the very real logic of what has happened to you god knows how many times.  And that si why you are so “pathetic”, because you WON’T ACCEPT the “logic” against you.  You won’t accept it because it is biased logic.  Biased logic can not ever be right, because it is biased.  Fighting with biased logic, when you start to fight primarily in your corner, you will start to see the truths of things.  When you start seeing things in your favour, it will take a while, you have been believing this bullshit logic that is enforced from people around you and the various types of media they follow, you will know slowly but surely that YOU ARE RIGHT.  Because your logic for “yes, I have been abused and didn’t deserve it” has taken into account BIASED LOGIC as “fact”.  You have given all the consideration you can that this is “right”.  You have given it full authority, and you not accepting “what you should be”, has been a failure on your part, and you have been thinking as such.  You have given a hell of a point of view to your abusers biased logic viewpoint, you have given it more credibility than your own points of view, because you have been told your points of view ARE WRONG.  And have been living under the knowledge that you holding on to your point of view is the reason your lives are being ruined.  It is being ruined because of biased logic.  When you start looking at the logic in your own favour, it is harder to see things in your own favour, because the biased logic AGAINST you has been so strong.  But when you finally start making sense of things, you will see, that you are right, because you have given not just the AGAINST side consideration, but full consideration against what you want to be true.  THAT is how you prove you aren’t crazy, that is how you prove that alot of people are very very fucked up, and that is how you recover.  The only thing against you is BIASED LOGIC.  It is impossible to be right.  When you prove it is wrong but by bit, you will know you are right, because you totally took into great account the biased logic against the logic of things being favourable for you.  You will have UNBIASED LOGIC.  Which is always correct, because logic is unable to be correct if it is biased.  Now THAT is a FACT.

Biased Logic is the basis of people thinking “I’m right because I say I’m right”.  If you all thought like that, you would be bullies, because you would not see anything wrong with anything you did.  This is how you know bullies are nuts, because you get to see how totally biased their points of view of “reality” really are.  And when you work through, and you see the real reality through unbiased logic, you see the real reality.  It is hard, because you have a lot of biased logic that is AGAINST YOU UNLESS YOU “GIVE IN TO IT” to get over, but day by day.  You really have all the time in the world you want, and the only reason it seems like you don’t, is because people who are totally owned by biased logic (i.e. ego – the enemy of ego is LOGIC, jsut let you know that) have perpetrated an idea that “life is short” to keep people thinking that time is running out of their lives and getting them to stay in their various holes while passing it off as a romantic notion to be used whenever 1 little thing goes right.  The world is run around by psychological abuse.  I know that sounds grim.  But it’s not.  It’s a chance for you to be smarter than the majority of the globe.  To see right from wrong, to be truly different from people who see right and wrong – the way they see it.  This blog is not just about recovery, it is ABOUT YOUR full evolution as human beings.  You are BETTER than your abusers, and all the people and things they hide behind.  YOU.  ARE.  BETTER.  And there is no pressure to be, because “pressure” does not exists.  It is thought up by people with biased logic, and every one of those people are bullies, because they see things – the way they want to see it.

So people, take all the time you need.  You have to first recover from the insane shit that has been done to you, that has made you feel insane, and made you “look” insane.  George Carlin said “this world is the freak show”, and he’s DAMN RIGHT!