This manipulation tactic, is pure evil. There are alot of people who are not victims who play the victim and give such an image as a victim a bad name, people think you are just acting up. But when you are the victim, REALLY actually are, it is pure evil. Alot of the people who play the victim, are either people just trying to be dramatic, actual victims, or the real danger here, THE ABUSER(S).
Alot of people love living their lives in drama oriented ways. When they feel like a victim, it is usually because they got dumped, or didn’t get what they wanted. That is not a victim. It is something unlucky that happened, but it is not the victim. If these people were the victim, they wouldn’t make sure that they get back at someone in some kinds of way. Victims know what it is like to be a victim, so know how terrible it is to make someone be the victim. Some fall, and take out their insecurities on other people, which is wrong, but those that don’t, such as me, and I’m sure it isn’t only me, alot or all of you guys, DON’T take your insecurities out. We wouldn’t even make our worst enemies be victims, if we are strong enough that is. The stronger you are, the “weaker” you are on this planet, because it feels like such a surge of power to take someone elses. That is why you are strong. You don’t take other peoples power. Instead of taking other peoples power, I am trying to give power. Trust me, this is strong. Keep the faith.
I will ramble off into tangents regularly I think lol, just gotta be as natural as I can, that’s how I work best (and neither myself nor any of you should be anything other than natural). As I said, proper victims don’t (or try their best not to) try to make other people victims. I think only victims get that. I would like to think I had an empathy from the start, and maybe I did, but I certainly haven’t seen it in anybody I’ve met in my real life, plenty of fake “empathy”, but none on my level. I think I may have just been born with it, I think most people are born with it, but no doubt the bullying made me have greater empathy. Instead of a greater thirst for revenge. Believe me, I have wanted lots of revenge. Hate is not the way forward, the lack of hate is what made you vulnerable to hate in the first place, and whatever hate you have in you, you are just holding onto what you were left with. You have to work very hard, but you have to learn that the hate isn’t yours, no matter how “convinced” it is (and you have been convinced it is by the people who spread the hate), it isn’t yours, and you have to get that worked out. But yeah, victims don’t do that, and you are already working away on things, even if you don’t know you are, and you are going in the right direction, even if you don’t think you are.
So ABUSERS playing the victim. This is a big manipulation tactic that is screwing you up, if it is going on, and even if you are away from it. One great way of abusers to combat you pleading with them is by telling you to “stop playing the victim”. This insinuates that you are acting up. YOU ARE the victim. But this insinuates that you are being over dramatic. And thus, you are using this technique against them. Since alot of people play the victim that are only victims of not having things going as they wish it would, it gets a bad rap. When people are actually victims, people lump them in with all of these other people. Most abusers who use this technique (I can relate to this from having to go through it, and researching about it) are very very close to you. They are your family. Parents, spouse, siblings, maybe even children. When I was being emotionally abused, I was accused of “playing the victim”. I was being accused of doing a bad thing. Being a victim is a “bad” thing to be in this case. You being “a victim” is something that you shouldn’t be. It is a failure on yourself. If you shouted “I am the victim” in self defense, you would be ripped up further. Emotional abusers abuse because they want your emotions, it is like candy to them. A big tactic is by them playing the victim, so if you retort, you are guilt tripped about making people look like victims, and if you plead for mercy even, you are told to stop playing the victim. You can’t win. Being a victim is such a bad bad thing to be, so even if you know you are a victim, you have to say that you’re not a victim, because you are challenged to not be, as if it is something pathetic that you are. And if you dare stand up for yourself, self defend with even LOGIC (the enemy of ignorance – but here’s the thing, ignorance KNOWS it is the enemy, it will fight very dirty against logic), YOU are now the abuser, the abuser plays the victim, and you have done something terrible. When you are the victim, you are “playing” the victim. When the abuser(s) play the victim, they ARE the victim. So this is a terrible terrible technique, you are accused of being something terrible, when all you are doing is trying to deal with what is happening to you. If you DARE point any fingers, you are ruining lives. Some may have bigger balls. Some (like me), tend to take that seriously. The point is, with abusers, you can only live by their rules. Their agenda is the only agenda, and if you question anything, especially with logic (a question might be “how am I abusing you when I left you completely alone and you just started going made at me?”). The bad thing, all manipulation tactics, they have been learned by the outside world. Hell, I honestly think alot of them just came to people, just like empathy came to me (either naturally or by being humbled, it got to me some way). In group settings, manipulation rules the world. In media, rules. Even in work, relationships, manipulation rules. Not all the time, but it can be very heavy and dominant. The problem with a lot of you is that you don’t have any of this crazy thinking in your head, even if you tried to learn, you wouldn’t feel comfortable. “Playing the victim”, when someone does this publically, it can be devastating. Alot of people “play” it alright, but alot of people need desperate help, and most people in life, whether they have had mostly bad times or mostly good times, are unfortunately left alone when they actually need people. When a LEGITIMATE VICTIM is told they are playing the victim, it causes havoc in the victims mind. It is like being a victim is something terrible. Some do rash things, popularly making someone else a victim, could just be a random person that they unleash negativity over (because it’s socially acceptable to do so), could be someone that has a “target” on them (the way they see it), but alot of victims, they take it all inwards. They think they are absolutely crazy. It is just another thing that they failed at. And how can someone be a victim when this is followed up with “other people have it worse”. Everybody knows everybody has it worse. But when proper victims have it REALLY BAD, they do not get the attention from others or give the attention to themselves that they should be giving themselves because they are made to feel guilty for ever thinking about themselves, thinking about themselves is “self absorbed” or so on, they are not “allowed” to think of themselves as a victim, because they aren’t a victim, other people have it worse. The people who spread these yarns, the worst thing that can happen to them is you calling them on their shit. That is the worst thing that can happen to them. And they have the audacity to use other peoples suffering AGAINST YOU to keep you from looking at yourself, and importantly, them.
You are made to FEEL GUILTY for other peoples suffering, you are made FEEL GUILTY for daring to look at your own needs, and you are made to FEEL GUILTY for ever looking at your abuser(s). Most of them come with smiles, so when you “attack” them, they “play” the victim, and you are the abusive one. It is so f’ed up. It is the height of psychological/emotional abuse, it always works best from someone you have a bond with (or think you do), you “playing the victim” is an accusation that you are being silly, and if anyone is being abusive, it is you, and if you DARE stand up for yourself, you are abusing one more time, and it is pointed out by the abuser(s) playing the victim themselves, unable to cope with what you have done. I hope this hasn’t happened to any of you, but it does happen and of course “you imagine it” all. The best way to keep and make someone be more of a victim, is to convince them they are the abuser, and the abuser is the victim. All abusers think they have been through a lot, they wouldn’t have a clue what to do if the shoe was on the other foot. Victims have been through a lot, and the biggest problems is that everything is denied to them, all their problems are their own fault, and they are not the victim, they are merely “playing” the victim. If a victim cannot recognize that he or she is a victim, they will not recover. Emotional manipulators make it seem that thinking of yourself as a victim (when you are one) is something terrible to think, and if anyone is the victim, they are, and you should be ashamed of that, and doubly ashamed for ever thinking you are the injured party.
Everything can be proven though. First of all, you get away from your abusers. Secondly, you take the time to go through stuff in your mind. For me, in my personal circumstances, I was convinced if anyone was a victim, it wasn’t me, and my refusal to accept that, was me being unable to accept reality. So whatever I know about a lot of things, I had to work out every positive in my own favour repeatedly against total character assassination. I stood up for myself as long as I could. Eventually, I started getting killed for it, and the guilt trip always got me, every time. Each time you have to apologize for defending yourself, you “learn” to not defend yourself a little bit more. Next time you defend yourself, you have less fight. Until you “learn” to not resist. I would like to think I am just smart, but to be honest, the abuse was so heavy that it was hard for me to believe in myself. I always knew I was right about things, and I knew my abusers were wrong, but I had to live like I was the wrong person and they were the right people. And my refusal to accept any of that, was me not accepting reality. It has been the hardest fight of my life, but it is one I’m glad I never gave up on, even when I could see no hope whatsoever. And I am glad that I am dealt with alot of my problems myself, but I will still deal with what happened to me, by hoping other people can relate. I am no one special, just a guy who had very unfortunate luck, and wasn’t allowed to admit it or even look at it as it was. My parents think they are fucking great, excuse the language. They are sick people, and I can’t believe how they can sleep at night. It has been hard, because people who have great parents in the world, amazingly despite having a solid base can’t empathize with the idea that other people might not have great parents. And if I have dealt with that, I certainly am not the only person who has dealt with that, just in my own individual world I was alone in that.
I will be posting some pretty morbid things about how abusers think because it is important to KNOW what their tactics are. At least for me. They do these kinds of things, they hide them well, they are ignorant for doing it. They look at YOU as the ignorant one for not knowing it. It is insane. They are the ignorant ones. It is not normal to play games with people, it is nowadays, but in terms of the overall picture, it absolutely isn’t nothing good can come of it, unless the despair of another human is the thing you dig. I’ve learnt all this, because I needed to arm myself. And I’ve gone further, because I had to know I was better than them. And I want you to know you are better too. Because we all are. A simple viewpoint where friends are friends, is corrupted by greedy people, who won’t stop until they corrupt us, and if we kill ourselves because of it, that’s okay, they had “nothing” to do with it.
I always knew what was going on, but I never knew the art of it. I never knew that they really could have been that bad. I have been exposed to dark arts alot of the time. I have seen bits of it outside the home a little bit too much in my life to be comfortable with, and it is the same answer if I ever said anything “what are you talking about”, with a weird look, implying that you are paranoid, or crazy. So if I see that all the time outside my home, happening to not just myself but other people, odds are on that this is quite frequent. And it certainly is. Because people who are victims of bullying, alot of them want to KILL THEMSELVES. I did too. I’m telling you, you are the people who should not be feeling suicidal, you didn’t do anything wrong. But anyway, enough about this at the moment, it has been suggested that some of my posts are too long, so I’m going to work on making them shorter, I just get passionate sometimes, that’s all.