Sometimes you just need a picture to give you some kind of inspiration. Most people are only aware of their conscious thoughts, and if someone mentions anything BEYOND this “socially acceptable” criteria, that person becomes more or tally “socially unacceptable”. Being harmed by humans, it is because they harm what they are scared of. Believe it or not.
Anyway, I’m going to keep my posts short(ish) from now on, because I’m writing alot and I am aware how thinking about stuff can blow your mind, especially the stuff you are not “supposed” to think about. I wouldn’t be writing about anything and exposing people to stuff if I couldn’t link things up, one of the things that made me “stand out” from other people was a vow I made pretty early that I would never hurt anyone because of my own insecurities. Not doing this, made me “weak”, and boy did I believe it for a long long time, because “obviously” I was. When I started working through depression just the way felt right was the right direction, I started blowing up boundaries, and I completely remembered my personality, that I didn’t want to hurt anyone, that I would rather help others. I thought that was some BS thing I was living in denial of because I couldn’t cope with the world, but seriously, I worked through absolutely everything and the only reason I forgot that about myself, hid it, felt ashamed even or felt like I was in a fantasy land for thinking like that was because it was beaten out of me and I was told I was “doing it wrong”. You get depressed because you forget yourself. The people who don’t get depressed, they generally don’t care about themselves, they care about their “image” (because they either always or grew to acknowledge that was who they actually were). You care about who you really really are, and where you really really are in life, and that is a damn good enough reason to be depressed. But you are guilt tripped, you are made to feel defected, you are told that to get “happy” again you have to improve your standing in the world. Told by absolutely everyone, including people who are “professionals”. You are led on a wild goose chase to get an image makeover. Some people get over it, by just giving in. They don’t really get over it, but they get over the hump. You get depressed because YOUR SOUL wants you to be WHO YOU ARE, and your ego, it wants you to be an IMAGE. And the whole world, everyone you know, absolutely everyone, wants you to be an IMAGE again. And your failure to comply, could be many many things, but bottom line is you being depressed is WRONG, and UNDESIRABLE. You don’t always have to be depressed. But if you follow the “rules” of the world of people who are depressed (and live in denial of it, by pursuing image, and even to protect it enhance that image, pick on someone who can’t fight back, or take down people “in your way”), you are following the wrong rules. The rules are WITHIN YOU, and all I can do is try to help. Don’t worry, I forget this stuff too. I keep thinking I’m wrong about this and every other thing half the time, but you feel RIGHT when you are looking in the right direction.
Take it easy, seriously, I am 29 myself, I don’t know how old you people are but lets just assume we are all the same age. For the majority of our lives, we have been told NOT TO BE OURSELVES. For a while it worked out. And when we got depressed, that was a bad thing. And we fell behind (if we were ever level in the first place). We were living a life that was counterfeit, something to fit in and be accepted by others, if we weren’t, we dealt with it ways that we thought we could deal with acceptably, scared shitless to do things like write down our thoughts without being overly aware of “what have I become” kind of thoughts. There is LOADS LOADS LOADS to get through, absolutely LOADS. You have been asleep longer than you have been awake, maybe you aren’t awake yet. The world is totally asleep. Depression wakes us up. But we are “told” to stay asleep. By others, and by people with “credentials” as well. You can do absolutely everything in this world, but we are limited to very few things, only things that will make us “liked” by others are we told to strive for. To really succeed, socially and professionally, we are told we need to be assholes, and not being one is us not being “grown up” enough. If you do not “comply”, you will have “done it all yourself”. FREE YOUR MIND. It is locked up. Your mind can do absolutely anything. I have had some “epiphanies” that I am totally a genius, or whatever. My IQ is irrelevant, I am not a “genius”, I am ME. If I am a genius, so is everyone, others just choose not to be, or “think” they are. Every label, positive or negative, is ATTACHED to you by either yourself or by others to sway you. It is an ego boost/ego battering.
EGO BOOST is GOOD.
EGO BATTERING is BAD.
You can either trick yourself into believing that you are great, or if you have any kind of problem, if you don’t see how something adds up, you can stay depressed, and the only help you will get comes with implications that there is something wrong with you.
I have A LOT more to say and will. But do that thing we are told is “bad” for us. THINK. THINK about everything I have written. DO NOT take what I say as UNDENIABLE PROOF. I really think it is, not just for me, I have thought about things deeply to relate to everybody out there, but we all have different minds, different realities, different past experiences. What has happened in my life has been totally different from what has happened in your lives. We are similar, but totally different. I am not the kind of person to push my views onto other people, but seeing as this is about the actual thing we are supposed to enjoy called LIVING, I think it is necessary to share. Why can’t we be happy? I will tell you guys.