This is called Insecure/Insensitive People v Secure/Sensitive People 1, it won’t save as a title for reasons beyond my knowledge.
Here’s the shocker. You are not insecure. Really, when you get down to it. You are insecure BECAUSE of other peoples insecurity. If you are in a room with 100 different people all in their various “moods”, it may be hell for you. It’s because, you sensitive people (once again I’ll say, you were either born sensitive or made sensitive) can ‘sense’ the insecurity all around you. The difference between you and these 99 other insecure people, is that YOU question whether you are insecure. You don’t just question it, you give it full authority that you are insecure. These other people, maybe some will give it some thought, them and the others who won’t, they’ll turn on the tv or do something and forget about it, exercise their brains in other ‘zombie like’ ways as soon as they may get a little bit close to an uncomfortable line of thinking such as “who am I?”
The most sensitive people. We’ll use these distractions as well, but the thing is, WE KNOW they are only distractions. There are more important things in our lives, and personally it is the “who am I” question the others touch on.
The difference is, they just touch on it. They don’t go full haul. People all agree that thinking too much is bad, it’s because they are all as deathly scared as each other. Any feeling of ‘inferiority’ that bullies get somehow in their crazy brains, they pick ‘targets’. All these targets, are victims. And in their crazy brains, they ‘imagine’ that the victim, brought on everything themselves, they had it coming, they deserved it.
So lots of people become victims. Alot of people become victims, they think, and if they have any strength against this view, they are told they have no choice, but to ‘toughen up’, and fight back. They are told that strength is not keeping your resolve. They are told that strength is challenging another persons resolve. It’s extremely tempting, but the fact is, when you fight back, more often than not, you become a bully yourself. Because you start hanging around bullies, alot of times when someone fights back against the person who bullied them, there is ‘respect’ between the two, and a friendship is formed. The initial bully respects that this person fought back, and will gladly have them on his team. The victim who fights back, he is alot of the time glad to be in league with the bully.
You see, any abuse, whether you fight back or not, it is a slight on the victim. Whatever any human being says, the ground rule is that they want to be liked. When you are being bullied, the thing you really want to know is “why don’t you like me?” Even if you absolutely hate this person or persons, the thing that really gets your goat is why these people don’t like you. The fact that they don’t like you, it means that there must be something WRONG with you. So others do fight back, and they can be proud of the time they “fought back against bullies”. But any “pride”, 99 times out of 100 leads to arrogance. Arrogance, leads to bullying. As people get older, in their 20s, the most subtle of them all, they would be “outraged” if you accused them of bullying. If you did it in a workplace, you would be ostracized. That is the thing. This person “thinks” he isn’t a bully, after all, he fought back from bullying. Alot of people who fight back from bullying remember exactly how horrible it is to feel when you are being bullied, and wouldn’t do that to anyone. But most people, their ‘pride’ just warps them, and when you have ‘pride’ on the line, pride is always On the line. Even when it really isn’t.
When a victim though takes it personally something that is wrong with them, they are labeled among other things, a pushover. Every victim takes being a victim personally, alot fight back, and as soon as they fight back, do the ‘accepted’ thing, that’s when when get proud of themselves. When you are proud of yourself, if there is any situation that you can relate to, or even if there are situations you can’t even relate to, you achieve an arrogance that gives you full authority to call things as you see it. If you are right calling things, brilliant, but so many people say “fight back” without any understanding of the person they are telling to fight back. People have a hard time accepting OTHER PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT, and “other people” in this scenarion, are sensitive people. Everyone is sensitive, but whereas most sensitive people lose their control, ‘hyper/super’ sensitive people THINK. Every time someone is a victim, they just want to know whats wrong with them. Either fight back, or think about it. The problem is the people who fight back start to think they know it all. Just like the bullies think they know it all. And the people who don’t fight back think “everybody knows everything except me”.
If anything, being bullied gives us a chance to look at ourselves, but we can go SO DEEP that it causes chaos in our lives, and as we keep being “targets”, we start to doubt ourselves more and more and more.
We are only insecure because of the insecure. I’ll speak more on this another time, but right now, I’m going to write about something very close to me, and directly related to all of you as well.
P.S. Alot of the stuff I have gone on about before (the ego), I’m going to go on about it less. I was just doing some crazy mathematics in my head and coming to theories that though true (gotta love maths) are not important. We are people, and I’m going to spend less time delving into the subconscious of the bully and more time talking to YOUR HEARTS.