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I’ve been hurt all my life.  I “shouldn’t” have been hurt.

I’ve been hurting since I got away from my abusers.  I “shouldn’t” be hurting, as I am away from them.

When one little thing was said to me that upset me, that I felt ripped me up, I “shouldn’t” have been hurt.

I’m a victim.  I “shouldn’t” be hurt.  In fact, it’s my fault for being hurt.

Only in a truly mad world can the victims not allowed be hurt, be blamed for being hurt, and if anything, the abuse hurt the abusers to do it.  You made them “bring it on” to you.  So most of us don’t really get hurt.

That is such an insane thing.  If anyone should feel hurt, it is those who care about themselves and care about the world around them.  The ones who get brutalized.  If people get hurt, they should feel hurt, right?

It’s quite crazy, someone gets hurt, and they are mocked for being hurt to the extent that being hurt is “weak” of them.  So the hurt still stays, and then they get hurt again, and again, and again.  The hurt is never dealt with.  The hurt isn’t ALLOWED to be dealt with.  Hurting is something you “shouldn’t” do.  You should “toughen up”.  Learn to become an asshole.  Be anything but someone who is hurt.

What a mad world.  Do you know what sucks ass about this kind of attitude, gay bashers are “hurt” that gay people are getting married, racists are “hurt” that black people are getting stronger and stronger, manipulators are “hurt” that their victims figure things out.  Bullies get “hurt” when their victims fight back, or get on with life around them.  When the bullies are “friends”, or “family”, that “hurt” is on the victim.  The victim finds it hard to be HURT because they are aware that by attempting to make their lives better that they are “hurting” their “famliy”, or “friends”. 

I have found out an awful lot of stuff, and in between moments of just not being able to believe that I have started a website, helped people when I have, figured some things out that I never in a million years thought I would ever figure out, about the world around me, about myself, and about how to help others just by pointing them in some kind of semblance of things, I have personally been aware of how “hurt” people would be at me basically finding out how they think, how WRONG they are, how they are just spreading toxic around the place.  Psychopaths get “hurt”.  Narcissists get “hurt”.  Sociopaths get “hurt”.  Bullies get “hurt”. 

Those 4 types of people, they are VERY COMMON, I don’t say this as a person who has been rock bottom, I say this out of severe self questioning (some just because I was always able to be honest with myself, some because I have been made to believe I couldn’t be right about any of this), wanting it to be true that I am a whackjob and the world isn’t really as I see it.  I have been hurt by that.  But I haven’t been able to embrace the hurt.  I haven’t been allowed to hurt.

The world is run by psychopaths.  They create the adverts telling us how to feel or what to be in to.  They promote the music of narcissistic people like Miley Cyrus as “the music to listen to” and keep hidden music such as from this beautiful band I have linked above.  They create “Man Rules”.  They create “Women rules”.  They create insecurities.  They create differences between us, highlighting things in the news that we “should” be arguing over and letting us THINK we all have free will, a mind of our own, a right to opinions of our own, that we are all “good” people.  I would like to see that I have been influenced by people like David Icke, who go on about conspiracies such as this, but no, I haven’t been influenced by anyone, except two things.  1.  Make the world a better place.  Which made me into the town idiot, not causing any drama, having this belief that has always made total sense to me and I have proven through some extreme mind work and problem solving skills that I was RIGHT to think like that.  But I was known as a giant retard for that, just because I thought if people got along we would be alright.  And I must be crazy because I have not only proven it, but my belief is even stronger, it isn’t a belief anymore, it is the truth.  2.  I did it all by myself.  A dash of inspiration here, a dash of inspiration there, questioning every single view as to my results being distorted just so “what I want to be true was true”.  I questioned everything about my insecurities, my inner rage at what I have been through deceiving me, anything that could sway my opinion over to my favour just to suit my point of view, I questioned.  I’m stronger for it, but the ore I went on this journey and found out that I was in the right and most people are actually out of their minds, I have had it in my mind that I would “hurt” people by putting this stuff into action.

Anyway, this isn’t about me, but the point of this site is me writing things because I know I can not only relate to you, I can give you answers as I have found them.  I am hurting a hell of a lot.  But I haven’t ALLOWED myself to hurt.  I’ve been down, I’ve been fucked up, I’ve done all this work, but I haven’t allowed myself to just hurt.  When you are told that “hurting is bad” all of your life, even deconstructing the people who send those messages and finding out why such a thing and all the other positives that were treated as your negatives were right, it isn’t good enough at that.  You can reach conclusions about the world but still not be any closer.  I just realize, I should just hurt for a while.  I haven’t hurt properly, I have been working out all these things in my head and putting thew jigsaw of all life together, and I’ve basically done all the mental work that I’m ever going to have to do, but until I just let myself feel hurt, I’m just going to keep going around in circles.  I have not let myself hurt (properly, not doing anything but hurting) because it has been put into my brain that I shouldn’t be hurting.  With an awareness that my psychotic parents are “hurting”, I have been distracted by the fucking guilt trip.  You can’t hurt properly until you totally hurt.

The good on this planet are told they are bad, the bad on this planet are told that they are good, the bad “hurt”, the good feel like they are bad because they hurt.  Seeing narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths act (that’s the word, ACT) “hurt”, they give hurt a bad name.  They can hurt if they get exposed, or someone has a better job than them, but you can’t hurt by being decimated?  

Most people on this planet that “hurt” are “hurt” because they have SHALLOW PEOPLE PROBLEMS.  They don’t get a fucking thing.  They consist of the stupid, the narcissistic, the sociopathic or the psychotic.  They act “hurt” and guilt trip people, they give “hurt” a bad name, and they throw around the message that HURTING is NEGATIVE.  It’s fucking positive, it’s negative that they a)  made you hurt, b) prevented you from embracing hurt, and c)  ACTING hurt.  

When they ACT, that is a guilt trip.  So they act all hurt, they get all this sympathy, they act “strong”, yet none of them have a fucking clue what it’s like to really hurt.  So when people actually say “IS ANYONE SANE HERE?” they are looked at as fucking idiots.  So instead of hurting, they are fucked in the head with thoughts about all this other shit they never should have had to deal with.  I say this from experience and research.

So just fucking hurt for a while.  Just hurt.  Just embrace the hurt.  You hurt, you aren’t all the fucking insane labels you have been forced to live with, you are just hurt.  Unfortunately, you have to get over the “what could I have done to prevent this/do this differently” kind of stuff.  YOU DIDN’T BRING ON ANY OF THIS.  THEY DID IT.  THEN THEY MADE YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID TO DESERVE THIS JUST SO THEY WOULDN’T HAVE TO DO ANY THINKING OF THEIR OWN.  And they all “hurt”.  

So just hurt.  At fucking everything.  It’s the biggest solution, biggest it’s how you feel.  You are hurt, and you are ALLOWED to be hurt, because you have been intentionally hurt.  It wasn’t anything you did to deserve this, they made it seem like you did it to yourself, you didn’t.  So, get over all this character assassination, and then hurt when you do.  You have been totally raped as human beings and that is not hyperbole, you have been raped, and all the rapists in your life have said “no you did it”.  All that stuff about the ego, that shows you how insanely biased their minds are, and why you have been up against pure evil.  That stuff can help you understand, but you can find out absolutely everything in your favour and against their favour and be totally sure of that, but until you learn that it is OKAY to hurt, you will just keep running around in circles.

JUST HURT.  HURT.  HURT.  BE HURT.

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